GRANDMA'S BIRTHDAY

I’m thinking about my grandmother today. It’s her birthday and although she passed away over 16 years ago at 102, I still have vivid memories of her. She was what you might call a pioneer in a new world. She was tough and had to be. A nineteen-year old Swedish immigrant who came to the U.S. in the early 1900s, and worked as a domestic for a family in Canada. Who then came to New York, married and was widowed at age 35, the mother of a five-year-old daughter. As I faced some of my own challenges (two divorces, a husband who died, raising children on my own) I drew strength from her story. As she aged, I watched her seek ways to grow intellectually (she loved U.S. history, listening to books on tape when she could no longer see well enough to read), and socially (in her seventies she had a boyfriend who was in his sixties!). She walked everywhere and dressed with class. She enjoyed politics, creative pursuits, saving money to buy quality items, teaching and playing with her grandchildren. With grandma as an example I had a solid, healthy vision of aging in my mind.

My sister, Marilyn who is five years older than me has also has been an exemplar and she’s given me glimpses into what I might expect as I age. As mentor and pathfinder for me she’s been an efficient snowplow clearing and sanding the road ahead for safe travel. As grateful as I have been to her, the five-year glimpses she offers weren’t quite enough. I wanted to know more.

As I age I want to continue to aspire to greater things, feel some measure of control and feel a part of an evolving community of women. Author, May Sarton called them “great exemplars of old age” and had them all her life. I realized after entering the second half of my life that other than Grandma and my sister, Marilyn, I lacked, as Sarton mused in her journal, “marvelous models to contemplate.” The book I wrote (The Next Fifty Years) was born out of a search for more role models --- and I found them in a variety of places! At some point I'll write more about them here.