DO I LOOK LIKE A GRANDMA?

There are more grandmothers alive today than at any other time in the history of the world. However, today’s grandmothers don’t look like grandmothers.

Lois Wyse, Funny, You Don’t Look Like a Grandmother, Crown Publishers, 1989

And what is a grandmother supposed to look like? Mine looked sweet and had small, strong arthritic hands. Her skin was transparent and loose crepe paper skin decorated her outstretched arms. Her eyes twinkled like Mrs. Santa Claus and when she got mad her face reddened, her high-pitched voice poised to cut you in half. After the scolding she would give you a big hug. Sunday mornings, wrapped in a flower-printed, handmade apron, she’d produce stacks of thin, buttery Swedish pancakes. She cooked everything in butter and didn’t weigh more than three bags of groceries. Did she look like a grandma? You bet. And, more than that, she acted like one.

Grandma was the one you could go to with the stuff you didn’t want to share with your mother. She wasn’t as judgmental. She played cards with us, and Parchessi and Chinese Checkers. She taught me how to sew with a thimble, how to knit a scarf and crochet the edge on a pillowcase. I’ve got five grandchildren. Do I look like a grandmother? I would like to think not---yet, what am I so worried about. I sure would like to be more of a grandmother---not as concerned about every little wrinkle, ache and pain. I’d like to be more concerned with being the one the kids come to with their problems.  I’d like to worry less about my post-menopausal weight gain and double chin and be more available to play Gin Rummy or X-box. I’d like to be less concerned with how much my skin is sagging and focus more on giving the best hugs in the world.

Speaking of grandma, I heard her voice in my head this morning. “Why don’t they make things the way they used to?” she said. “The size of my foundation makeup keeps getting smaller.” On a positive note, as I was brushing my teeth, she went on to say, “My, aren’t you lucky to still have most of your teeth!”