AN ATTITUDE OF SOLITUDE

“There have been times...when I have longed for solitude, and it took some hard lessons for me to learn that I needed to be what I had thought was selfish; that I need to take time to myself to write, to go to the brook, to be.” Madeleine L’engle, The Irrational Season

I remember my petite 89-year old Swedish grandmother sitting in her chair doing absolutely nothing---her arthritic hands folded gracefully on her lap, her face tranquil. She didn’t look depressed or lonely but I asked if she was okay. A smile crossed her face as she told me that she was reliving an exciting, fun-filled time in her younger years. Although Grandma was mostly blind from an earlier stroke, she still lead a busy life---visiting friends, going to her senior’s club, listening to books on tape and caring for her grandchildren. Yet, she knew how to be still. She was comfortable with solitude.

I was once afraid of solitude, afraid of my internal sounds and of being by myself. At 61, I’ve found our extroverted, noisy society and its pull to constantly communicate in some way, a bit too much. I’ve come to realize that my need to pull away from the noise and the chatter is as universal at this age as the urge to connect. As I age, I find I need time to be in touch with me. Cell phones, texting, email, and twitter give us the ability to be in constant touch with each other. It’s not that these technologies are is so bad, it’s just that I need quiet time to know myself and my needs better, to sort things out, to regroup. I want to understand how I think and feel and where I want to go with my life and that’s hard to do when you let the world push in on you.

It’s okay to take a break from it all now and then. Taking time alone will serve to restore your integrity, allow you to think about your beliefs and what you value most. A self-imposed quiet can fertilize your creative side as ideas emerge long buried by the daily rush. Alone time replenishes energy so when you resume interacting with others, you do so with renewed insight and strength.

Try not to wait until you have a whole day or week free to incorporate a bit of solitude and reflection into your day . To begin with try some simple pleasures---a walk in the park on your own, sit by yourself and listen to music, sink into a warm bath, meditate for 10 minutes, pet your cat with your eyes closed. If you aren’t used to being alone, you might feel a little bored at first. Stay with it. After a few minutes you may like it! How can you create more solitude in your life?