“You may be wondering what Buddhism has to do with growing older, but if you can accept that ‘non-attachment’ is helpful, you will discover that possessions aren’t as important as they were.” Rebecca Latimer, You’re Not Old Until You’re Ninety
I’m remembering my husband’s Aunt. Grace was someone I truly admired for her straight forward, no nonsense approach to life. Widowed for some time and living alone at 90, we often visited her in her small, tastefully appointed one-bedroom apartment in the upscale neighborhood of Central Park West in Manhattan, NY. Everything was in its place---clean and tidy. On one of our visits, I noticed something important about her lifestyle. She had enough money to buy out Saks Fifth Avenue, yet when she opened her front hall closet door to retrieve her coat for a walk with us to the grocery store, I noticed only these few items:
• an umbrella
• a rain coat
• a light weight coat for spring
• a heavy woolen coat for winter
• one pair of sturdy, fashionable overshoes
• one silk scarf and one woolen scarf
• one pair of well made leather gloves
That was all! And this was a woman who could afford to fill her closets three times over! I never asked her why she didn’t have an accumulation of things, but if I had, I’m sure she would have responded that living in a simple, uncluttered apartment made life much easier and more manageable.
Aunt Grace had a small simple kitchen with no fancy appliances---just the basics. She and several of her older neighbors checked in on each other daily. Grace loved traveling the world and yet she was down to earth. She loved being around people and around culture and the arts and so Manhattan suited her. No retirement home for her! In fact, she lived happily on her own, in her apartment until she left her interesting, beautiful and uncluttered life in her mid-90’s! When I grow up, I want to be Aunt Grace.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
UTERUSES AND VAGINAS!
“I can’t stand how grim everyone is about aging----osteoporosis, liver spots, vaginal dryness---oh, please!” Valerie Harper, Today I am a Ma’am
Let’s face it. If you’re an older women, you’ve got at least a vagina and maybe a uterus. These precious body parts deserve our attention just like any other body part. I’ll start this discussion with our friend the vagina (mom used to refer to it as, “down there”).
When women enter menopause, one of the most common complaints is vaginal dryness during sex which can make intercourse feel scratchy or painful. Fortunately, medical science has come to the rescue. Talk to your gyno regarding prescriptions, lubricants, hormone creams which can thicken and nourish the vaginal tissues. You may also want to try a non-hormonal lubricant.
Okay, now that that’s out of the way --- let’s get even more personal. Did you know that regular toning of your vaginal muscles increases circulation to this area of your body and helps keep vaginal tissues moist and healthy. You don’t have to go to the gym for this one (although you can do them there also). Exercise your vaginal muscles by doing Kegel exercises. Squeeze your vaginal muscles (these are the same ones you use to stop the flow of urine) and hold them for 10 seconds and relax. Repeat several times per day. I do them whenever I’m stopped at a traffic light or on line at the supermarket. No one knows my secret! As you’re doing these discreet exercises, try not to contract your thighs, buttocks or abdominals at the same time and visualize “down there” as healthy, pink, moist and resilient.
And now on to your uterus! If you’ve still got one, you may be one of the 40% of U.S. women who have uterine fibroids. Some fibroids go away of their own accord., while others stay and cause problems. Although there are dietary and hormonal reasons why so many women have these growths, the baseline ‘energetic’ causes of fibroids may have to do with blockage and stagnation of the energy of the pelvis. In her widely acclaimed newsletter called “Health Wisdom for Women”, Dr. Christiane Northrup suggests that “the illnesses that originate in this area of the body are activated by prolonged stress from fear of losing control over our physical environments....Fibroids represent creative energy that hasn’t been birthed. We are at risk for fibroids when we direct our energy into any dead-end relationship...a job, a marriage, a family or virtually any situation that is less than fulfilling...”
If you’ve had a hysterectomy or are anticipating one, remember that a hysterectomy doesn’t necessarily diminish your sexuality. Most women who have hysterectomies report more sexual activity and greater pleasure after the operation that before it. The probable reason--the symptoms that usually lead to hysterectomy, including pain and heavy bleeding, keep women from enjoying sex fully before the operation.
So, have a good time paying attention to those parts “down there” and get on with living!
Let’s face it. If you’re an older women, you’ve got at least a vagina and maybe a uterus. These precious body parts deserve our attention just like any other body part. I’ll start this discussion with our friend the vagina (mom used to refer to it as, “down there”).
When women enter menopause, one of the most common complaints is vaginal dryness during sex which can make intercourse feel scratchy or painful. Fortunately, medical science has come to the rescue. Talk to your gyno regarding prescriptions, lubricants, hormone creams which can thicken and nourish the vaginal tissues. You may also want to try a non-hormonal lubricant.
Okay, now that that’s out of the way --- let’s get even more personal. Did you know that regular toning of your vaginal muscles increases circulation to this area of your body and helps keep vaginal tissues moist and healthy. You don’t have to go to the gym for this one (although you can do them there also). Exercise your vaginal muscles by doing Kegel exercises. Squeeze your vaginal muscles (these are the same ones you use to stop the flow of urine) and hold them for 10 seconds and relax. Repeat several times per day. I do them whenever I’m stopped at a traffic light or on line at the supermarket. No one knows my secret! As you’re doing these discreet exercises, try not to contract your thighs, buttocks or abdominals at the same time and visualize “down there” as healthy, pink, moist and resilient.
And now on to your uterus! If you’ve still got one, you may be one of the 40% of U.S. women who have uterine fibroids. Some fibroids go away of their own accord., while others stay and cause problems. Although there are dietary and hormonal reasons why so many women have these growths, the baseline ‘energetic’ causes of fibroids may have to do with blockage and stagnation of the energy of the pelvis. In her widely acclaimed newsletter called “Health Wisdom for Women”, Dr. Christiane Northrup suggests that “the illnesses that originate in this area of the body are activated by prolonged stress from fear of losing control over our physical environments....Fibroids represent creative energy that hasn’t been birthed. We are at risk for fibroids when we direct our energy into any dead-end relationship...a job, a marriage, a family or virtually any situation that is less than fulfilling...”
If you’ve had a hysterectomy or are anticipating one, remember that a hysterectomy doesn’t necessarily diminish your sexuality. Most women who have hysterectomies report more sexual activity and greater pleasure after the operation that before it. The probable reason--the symptoms that usually lead to hysterectomy, including pain and heavy bleeding, keep women from enjoying sex fully before the operation.
So, have a good time paying attention to those parts “down there” and get on with living!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, AGAIN!
“I tell people I’m 75 instead of 65 so they’ll think I look great for my age!”Patti Dudyshun, Astrological Counselor
Just before my 50th birthday I suffered a concussion and damage to my neck in a car accident and consequently missed having the celebratory party I had envisioned. When I finally started to feel well enough to give a party (it took 2 years!) I decided I would celebrate my 50th at age 52. Now when my birthday rolls around, I feel each birthday is once again my 50th because having survived that accident, I’m so glad to be alive. At my 50th birthday party (which I celebrated at 52) I bought party hats and noise makers for my guests, and bubbles to blow. I will never deny my true age (I’ll be 62 on June 12th) but I plan to celebrate my 50th over and over until I’m 100! So this year I’m celebrating my 50th again because that was the year I realized how precious and precarious life is.
Gifts are another issue. Don’t we have enough stuff at this point!? My over 70 friend Alma told me we should all, “get a hobby so your friends and your kids will know what to buy you. Then you won’t end up with a bunch of extraneous nonsense.” I’ve got lots of hobbies and I’m still not in the mood for gifts that relate to any them. My house is full of stuff that I’m trying to rid of. So don’t buy me a present---take me out for a drink or dinner. I like gifts that get eaten, digested and disappeared!
I’ve never felt upset about getting a year older. Negative feelings abound on the issue of birthdays like the ones that Mary McConnell expressed in one of her books, “Turning sixty sneaks up on you, like a difficult guest you know is coming...and suddenly sixty knocks at the door” Some women I’ve spoken to barely enjoy their birthdays anymore because they don’t like calling attention to their age. That’s a shame, because for most, birthdays were so special when they were younger.
Not everyone is negative when it comes to celebrating their years. On her 60th birthday my friend Patty told me, “I love celebrating my birthday. The attention is on just me---all day! I’ve got no problem saying how old I am. I was born on July 25th so I’ve always celebrated the entire month---starting with July 4th. On reaching 60, I’m feeling a new freedom---total permission to be me. If I want to do anything, good or bad, the decision is totally mine. I feel just fine saying “no” if I don’t want to do something. In recent years I rent a house on the beach where I celebrate my birthday with my friends. My time at the beach house gives me a sense of peace and calm and brings me back to who I am.”
Try not to think about the accumulation of your birthdays. It’s how you feel that matters. Consider spending your birthday in a way that feels best to you---with others or alone. Or try one of these:
• Do something daring like rent a convertible and drive with the top down, or arrange for a hot air balloon ride
• Throw yourself a party for an in-between birthday---like 57 instead of 60.
• Before your birthday arrives buy a beautiful journal. Fill every page with positive memories, and things you’re proud of, then give it to yourself as a birthday present.
• Spend part of the day meditating and reflecting on your life.
Just before my 50th birthday I suffered a concussion and damage to my neck in a car accident and consequently missed having the celebratory party I had envisioned. When I finally started to feel well enough to give a party (it took 2 years!) I decided I would celebrate my 50th at age 52. Now when my birthday rolls around, I feel each birthday is once again my 50th because having survived that accident, I’m so glad to be alive. At my 50th birthday party (which I celebrated at 52) I bought party hats and noise makers for my guests, and bubbles to blow. I will never deny my true age (I’ll be 62 on June 12th) but I plan to celebrate my 50th over and over until I’m 100! So this year I’m celebrating my 50th again because that was the year I realized how precious and precarious life is.
Gifts are another issue. Don’t we have enough stuff at this point!? My over 70 friend Alma told me we should all, “get a hobby so your friends and your kids will know what to buy you. Then you won’t end up with a bunch of extraneous nonsense.” I’ve got lots of hobbies and I’m still not in the mood for gifts that relate to any them. My house is full of stuff that I’m trying to rid of. So don’t buy me a present---take me out for a drink or dinner. I like gifts that get eaten, digested and disappeared!
I’ve never felt upset about getting a year older. Negative feelings abound on the issue of birthdays like the ones that Mary McConnell expressed in one of her books, “Turning sixty sneaks up on you, like a difficult guest you know is coming...and suddenly sixty knocks at the door” Some women I’ve spoken to barely enjoy their birthdays anymore because they don’t like calling attention to their age. That’s a shame, because for most, birthdays were so special when they were younger.
Not everyone is negative when it comes to celebrating their years. On her 60th birthday my friend Patty told me, “I love celebrating my birthday. The attention is on just me---all day! I’ve got no problem saying how old I am. I was born on July 25th so I’ve always celebrated the entire month---starting with July 4th. On reaching 60, I’m feeling a new freedom---total permission to be me. If I want to do anything, good or bad, the decision is totally mine. I feel just fine saying “no” if I don’t want to do something. In recent years I rent a house on the beach where I celebrate my birthday with my friends. My time at the beach house gives me a sense of peace and calm and brings me back to who I am.”
Try not to think about the accumulation of your birthdays. It’s how you feel that matters. Consider spending your birthday in a way that feels best to you---with others or alone. Or try one of these:
• Do something daring like rent a convertible and drive with the top down, or arrange for a hot air balloon ride
• Throw yourself a party for an in-between birthday---like 57 instead of 60.
• Before your birthday arrives buy a beautiful journal. Fill every page with positive memories, and things you’re proud of, then give it to yourself as a birthday present.
• Spend part of the day meditating and reflecting on your life.
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