IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, AGAIN!

“I tell people I’m 75 instead of 65 so they’ll think I look great for my age!”Patti Dudyshun, Astrological Counselor

Just before my 50th birthday I suffered a concussion and damage to my neck in a car accident and consequently missed having the celebratory party I had envisioned. When I finally started to feel well enough to give a party (it took 2 years!) I decided I would celebrate my 50th at age 52. Now when my birthday rolls around, I feel each birthday is once again my 50th because having survived that accident, I’m so glad to be alive. At my 50th birthday party (which I celebrated at 52) I bought party hats and noise makers for my guests, and bubbles to blow. I will never deny my true age (I’ll be 62 on June 12th) but I plan to celebrate my 50th over and over until I’m 100! So this year I’m celebrating my 50th again because that was the year I realized how precious and precarious life is.

Gifts are another issue. Don’t we have enough stuff at this point!?  My over 70 friend Alma told me we should all, “get a hobby so your friends and your kids will know what to buy you. Then you won’t end up with a bunch of extraneous nonsense.” I’ve got lots of hobbies and I’m still not in the mood for gifts that relate to any them. My house is full of stuff that I’m trying to rid of. So don’t buy me a present---take me out for a drink or dinner. I like gifts that get eaten, digested and disappeared!

I’ve never felt upset about getting a year older. Negative feelings abound on the issue of birthdays like the ones that Mary McConnell expressed in one of her books, “Turning sixty sneaks up on you, like a difficult guest you know is coming...and suddenly sixty knocks at the door” Some women I’ve spoken to barely enjoy their birthdays anymore because they don’t like calling attention to their age. That’s a shame, because for most, birthdays were so special when they were younger.

Not everyone is negative when it comes to celebrating their years. On her 60th birthday my friend Patty told me, “I love celebrating my birthday. The attention is on just me---all day! I’ve got no problem saying how old I am. I was born on July 25th so I’ve always celebrated the entire month---starting with July 4th. On reaching 60, I’m feeling a new freedom---total permission to be me. If I want to do anything, good or bad, the decision is totally mine. I feel just fine saying “no” if I don’t want to do something. In recent years I rent a house on the beach where I celebrate my birthday with my friends. My time at the beach house gives me a sense of peace and calm and brings me back to who I am.”

Try not to think about the accumulation of your birthdays. It’s how you feel that matters. Consider spending your birthday in a way that feels best to you---with others or alone. Or try one of these:

• Do something daring like rent a convertible and drive with the top down, or arrange for a hot air balloon ride
• Throw yourself a party for an in-between birthday---like 57 instead of 60.
• Before your birthday arrives buy a beautiful journal. Fill every page with positive memories, and things you’re proud of, then give it to yourself as a birthday present.
• Spend part of the day meditating and reflecting on your life.